The Red Suit
by Penuno
Summary: What happens when Giovanni can't wear his beloved red suit?


The Red Suit

Written by:  Amanda

Rated:  G

Disclaimer:  I don't know any of these characters.  Don't sue.

_Riiiiiiiip!_

I awoke suddenly to a loud ripping noise on a dreary Sunday morning.  I reluctantly climbed out of my bed to see where the noise came from and who made the noise.  As I was putting on my bathrobe, I thought about the time Persian ripped my curtains in my room because he was ticked off at me.  How was I supposed to know he preferred roasted chicken flavored cat food over baked chicken flavored cat food.  Persian is a one-of-a-kind cat who holds grudges.  I walked over to my curtains and examined them.  No damage done.  Whew.  I walked downstairs to make sure the pillows, blankets, rugs, and couches weren't destroyed.  All of them were intact.  Thank goodness.  I sat down in a chair and thought about the ripping noise.  I couldn't think of anything else that could have made that sound when it gets ripped.  So I got up and looked for Persian so I could give him his breakfast.  Then suddenly I thought of something else that could get ripped easily.  My wardrobe.  I ran up the stairs as fast as I could.  I stormed right into my walk-in closet and lo and behold there was my favorite red suit ripped up to shreds!  I wanted to cry.  But big boys don't cry so I held the tears in.  I looked around in the closet and I found the destroyer:  Persian.  Of course it was him.  

"Why did you rip my favorite red suit?  You knew I loved it," I asked him.

"Meow, meow, yow, (You should know)" he replied.

"Did I make a mistake with the cat food again?"

"Meow. (No)"

"Was it the tacky scratching post I bought for you recently?"  Like I said, this cat holds grudges.

"Meow.  (No)"

"Did the jewels on your collar look to cheap?"  That sorry collar cost a fortune.

"Meow.  (No)"

"Was the catnip too dry?"  He liked his fresh.

"Meow.  (No)"

"Okay, I give up. What's wrong?  What did I do wrong?"  I was desperate.

"Meow, meow, yow, meeeooow, mew, meow  (I needed super absorbent cat litter, not regular absorbent cat litter)"

"They were all out at the store."

"Meow yow, meow, mew, meow, meow,  (How would you like it if every time you went to the bathroom the toilet would not flush.  That's what it's like for me when I have regular absorbent cat litter.)"

"Okay, later on I'll go buy you the stupid litter."  

"Meow  (Good)"

Right now, I had a bigger problem on my hands.  What was I going to wear tomorrow when I went to work?  I glanced around the closet.  I had black suits and Hawaiian clothes which weren't appropriate for work.  And I didn't feel like wearing black suits.  It just isn't my style.  So I knew the inevitable came:  I was going to have to go clothes shopping.  I sighed and put on my Hawaiian clothes and got ready to leave.  But first I picked up all the pieces of my precious red suit and put them in a plastic bag.  I went outside into my humungous backyard and made a little hole in some dirt.  I put the bag of the torn suit in the hole and covered it up with dirt.  Hey, I had to give them a proper burial.  _ I got up and went to the front yard and got in my car and drove off the mall.  Once I got to the mall, I realized I had to get the stupid litter that the cat loves so much, so I had to turn around and go to the supermarket to buy some.  I went inside and accomplished the litter mission and went back into the car and drove back to the mall.  I went into the mall and started looking for a red suit store.  I must have walked around the store a billion times when I finally realized that there was no such thing.  So then I walked into a men's clothes store, I figured this was my best bet.  I started looking around at all of the clothes.  No red suits.  Hmmm, maybe I need a change of style.  I already own Hawaiian clothes so maybe that could be my new style.  If others didn't like it, too bad.  I walked over to the Hawaiian clothes section of the store and started to look around.  Everything looked to cheap and tacky.  Okay then, Hawaiian clothes were out of the question.  Great, now what?  I thought about maybe wearing turtlenecks or sweaters.  So I walked over to that section and looked around.  All of the turtlenecks and sweaters looked like something some old guy would wear.  Nope, no sweaters or turtlenecks for me.  I sighed.  What was I supposed to do?_

"Can I help you, sir?"

I turned around and I saw a dorky looking salesperson asking me a question.

"Do you have any outfits in a shade of red?"  I asked him.

He looked at me weirdly and said, "No."

I sighed and went back looking around at the selection of clothes.  Then I looked at my watch.  It was getting kind of late and I was getting tired of being at the stupid store.  So I decided to give in and went back to the Hawaiian clothes section.  I picked out an outfit that didn't look too cheap.  Then I went back to the sweater and turtleneck section and picked out another outfit that didn't make me look like an old fogy.  I paid for the clothes and drove back home.  For the rest of the day, I wondered how I would feel going to work looking different.

*   *   *

_Beeeeep!  Beeeep!_

I awoke to a sound of not ripping, but my alarm clock.  I slowly climbed out of my bed and began to think about the day ahead of me.  I suddenly realized that today was going to be a different day:  I wasn't going to wear my red suit.  I walked over to my closet and looked at my options.  I was either going to be a cheap Hawaiian shirt or an old fogy sweater.  I decided to go cheap.  I looked in the mirror at myself.  The reflection showed a guy wearing a very cheap tropical shirt, but I didn't care.  At least I had something to wear.  I went downstairs, to the kitchen and ate breakfast.  I also gave Persian his breakfast, the roasted chicken flavored cat food.  Oh yeah, Persian was so happy last night when I gave him his stupid litter.  I wanted to forgive him but I just couldn't.  I got in my car and drove off to the Team Rocket Head Quarters.  When I got inside the building, I passed a group of minions.  At first they had a surprised look on their faces.  I guess they didn't recognize me because I was wearing something different.  Then they exploded with laughter.  

"Is someone going to Hawaii?"  they all jeered.

I sighed and walked up the stairs to my office.  I had a funny feeling that this was going to be a long day.

*    *    *

_Beeeeep!  Beeeeeep!_

I jumped up at the noise.  It was just my alarm clock.  I slapped the off button so it would shut up.  As I went to the sink to wash my face, I thought about the previous day.  Every time someone passed by me, they would give me a strange look.  Then they would hurry away so they could go laugh their butts off.  I then made my decision:  no more tacky Hawaiian clothes.  I knew then what I was destined to wear.  I sauntered over to the closet and took the fogy-looking sweater and put it on.  Then I put some pants on.  I went over to the mirror and looked at it.  No doubt about it:  it looked like I had aged a few decades.  I hoped no one would notice.  I ate breakfast and reluctantly got in the car and drove off to the HQ.  As I had to stop at a red light, I car pulled up next to me.  I glanced to see who was in it.  Of course it just had to be some people I know.  They glanced over at me and immediately exploded with laughter.  Fortunately the light turned green and I could drive away.  When I had arrived at my destination, I wondered if I should turn back and just go home and hide.  But I decided to be brave and go inside the building.   This time I decided to take the elevator so hopefully I wouldn't pass any one.  But of course I have bad luck and there were people inside.  I hesitated for a moment and decided to go in.  The other people in the elevator looked at me like they didn't recognize me.  Fortunately they didn't laugh.  But when we got out of the elevator, I could hear muffled laughter.  Oh great, it was going to be a bad day again.

*   *    *

I happily climbed into bed that night because I was glad the day was over.  Throughout the day it was the same thing:  people looked at me strangely and when they thought I was out of earshot, they would explode with laughter.  When I looked in the mirror again when I got home, I thought I saw gray hairs in my head.  This old fogy outfit was making me hallucinate.  It had to go.  I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.  Later that night I had this weird dream.  I was falling through the air at a fast speed.  Falling with me were all these red suits.  I finally landed in a heap of red suits in a place that resembled my closet.  I seemed to be drowning in all of the suits because I couldn't get off of them.  I awoke from my sleep with a start.  All of a sudden I remembered something.  I ran over to my closet.  I pushed aside some black suits and looked behind them.  Then I saw them:  my spare red suits!  The ones I kept incase I had an emergency and I needed another one.  The dream must have triggered something in my mind to make me remember that I had them.  I figured I was to mad on Sunday when Persian destroyed one to remember my spares.  I took the suits off the hangers and started cuddling with them.  I couldn't get any happier.  Just then, Persian walked by my closet.  He seemed kind of disappointed that he didn't get rid of all the red suits, but he decided to walk away from the closet.  He probably might plan another destruction of my suits but this time I'll hang them higher in a place he can't reach.  Meanwhile, I picked up all of my red suits and brought them with me to bed.  They can be my security blankets.  I couldn't wait to see the faces of everyone at the HQ when they saw me in my normal getup.  But now, I just wanted to go to sleep with my suits.

The End


End file.
